If You're Taught to Hide What Makes you Different
by TheFostersFangirl
Summary: Hi everyone! This is my second fanfiction. It is about Jude coming to terms with his sexuality, friendship with Connor, and coming out to his family. I hope you enjoy this story a lot! It takes place after "I Do" but it does not involve Callie leaving.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey Moms, can Connor come over for dinner tonight?" Jude asked shyly. He was still getting used to calling them Moms instead of Lena and Stef. Connor was his only friend at school and he had a major crush on him. This was his first crush on a boy and it made him so confused. Ever since Lena and Stef adopted Jude and Callie he had been meaning to tell Lena and Stef that he was interested in boys, but he could never muster up the courage to actually do it.

Stef raised her eyebrows and nudged Lena "Connor hey? You two have been hanging out a lot" Lens always knew that Jude was probably gay or bi but she wasn't going to ask him. Stef, on the other hand, was impatient and she always wanted a gay kid.

"Um, yea, he's my best friend. So can he come over?" Jude was nervous because he felt that Stef was hinting that Connor and him were a thing of some sort.

Lena cut Stef off just as she was asking if Connor and Jude were something more than friends. "Sure, he can come over; I'll just set another plate at dinner. Kay, bud?" Lena felt bad for this poor kid. He was clearly petrified of answering Stef.

Jude said a quick "Thank You!" and ran upstairs to avoid any awkward questions

"Did you really have to do that?" Lena said sharply as soon as she heard the bedroom door close.

"Come on Lena, I want him to know that it's safe to tell us if he is gay,"

"Then tell him that it is safe to tell us. Don't try to ask if he and his friend are going out!" Lena was raising her voice and giving Stef her famous look.

Stef noticed that her wife was starting to get angry. "Okay, sorry!"

Up in his room Jude was crying into his pillow. He was alone in his room because Jesus was out at a volleyball tournament today. He felt like such a coward. What kind of a person isn't even able to tell his two moms that he's gay? He didn't even know why he wasn't able to tell them, he really wanted to but whenever he went to say it his mouth turned into goo. There was a knock on the door.

"Hey, can I come in?" It was Lena

Jude sat up and quickly brushed the stray tears off his cheeks. "Yea, sure" he said cheerily, trying to hide the pain he was feeling. He quickly got scared again. Was she here to ask more questions?

Lena noticed Jude's puffy eyes and got angry because Stef potentially did that. She walked over and sat next to her son on his bed. "Remember when I told you that if you are taught to hide what makes you different, you will end up feeling a lot of shame about yourself?"

Jude nodded. He kept these words very close to him

"Good, well Stef and I want you to know that you don't have to hide anything from us. We don't want to push you to tell us something if you are not ready but you know we will not judge when you decide to tell us." Lena tried to make it as subtle as possible, but she still thought it was a little too out there. A part of her just wanted to yell out "Just tell us you're gay already!" but she would not want to be like her own mother.

Jude turned red in the face. How obvious was it that he liked boys instead of girls? Did everyone at school know too? Now would be the perfect time to just tell Lena but the doorbell interrupted him. "Saved by the bell, that must be Connor." Jude shot out of the room and out the front door to his friend.

Lena let out a long sigh. "So close." She whispered to herself "So Close."


	2. Chapter 2

Jude opened the door to find his crush waiting on the other side "Hey Connor!"

"Hey Jude!" Connor greeted as he entered the home. "Hello Mrs. Foster, is dinner ready yet?" He called out to Stef, who was making pasta in the kitchen.

"Oh Hey Connor! It'll be ready in about 10 minutes. Why don't you go upstairs with Jude and I'll call you two down when it's ready?" Stef wiped the sweat forming at her brow. She hated cooking but it was her turn to do something around the house.

Jude agreed and followed Connor into his room. "We only have 10 minutes, what should we do?" Jude expressed.

"Actually," Connor said "I came over to tell you something that I just needed to get off my chest."

Jude wondered what could be bothering Connor and then it hit him. He must be moving! This broke Jude's heart. His only Friend couldn't move away from him! He croaked out a small "What?"

Connor gulped "Well okay, I have never told anyone this before but I feel like I can trust you. I have been analyzing myself a lot recently and I think I like boys and girls. More than friends."

Jude was happier than he had ever been. This was so much better than he thought. His best friend wasn't leaving, his crush was potentially interested! But if he ever wanted anything to actually happen he would have to tell him about himself too.

"Jude, are you going to say anything?" Conner began to worry that Jude wouldn't take it the right way.

Jude swallowed his pride "Me too. Except I don't really like girls. Just boys."

Just like clockwork, the two boys heard Stef calling for them that dinner was ready downstairs. As they headed down the hallway and stairs, a blonde haired Conner placed his callused from baseball hand in Jude's.

Jude's heart made enough flips to win the Olympics. He must have been in a dream, he thought. Good things never happened to him but everything was just falling into place recently. Ever since Lena and Stef adopted him and his sister nothing bad had happened, which was not usual for the Jacobs.

They quickly released hands before they could come into the view of the family who was waiting for them at the table. "Oh, Connor is eating with us?" Brandon said.

"Yea." Said Jude, in a high pitched, almost whisper like voice.

"Honey, are you okay over there?" A blonde haired Stef asked from across the table. Jude acted like he had just won the lottery and he would receive the money tomorrow.

Jude cleared his throat and took a mouthful of water. "Yea, I'm fine. It was just something in my throat probably."

Lena and Stef exchanged their look again. Lena saw how close Connor and Jude were sitting and it was obvious one of them said something to another before they joined them for dinner. Lena didn't want to be weird but she kind of thought it was cute in a way.

In the middle of dinner, Jude subtly rested his foot on the inside of Connor's foot so their legs were intertwined. He wondered what their status was. Were they technically going out now or were they just friends? They must have been really good friends Jude thought.

After everyone had finished their meal, Jude and Connor stayed in the living room and waited for Connor's mom to come and pick him up. They talked about video games and math class with the occasional knee bump until Connor's mom sent Lena a text.

"Connor, your mom is out front." Lena exclaimed to the two boys chatting on the couch.

"Okay" The blonde said. "Jude, walk me to the door?"

Lena watched as Jude walked with Connor to the front door and she could have sworn that out of the corner of her eye she saw Jude plant a small kiss upon Connor's cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

Jude walked back to the living room with a huge smile on his face. Connor had just asked him for a kiss goodnight! Everything in the world was content

"What was that all about?" Lena questioned. She was smiling at Jude because of how cute the two boys were. "I mean you and Connor. Did I see a little smooch?" Lena was so giddy at this moment.

At the mention of a smooch Stef stood up "Go get em Jude!" She was glad that Jude finally felt safe in this house until the small boy interrupted.

"No um…It was just…There was something on his face and I uh err was trying to get it off." Jude was so embarrassed. How could he have been so foolish? He should have hid it better, now Lena and Stef were going to know that he likes boys.

This made Lena laugh. It reminded her of the time when she was 14 and she brought home her first girlfriend and they put a blanket over their hands to try and hide the fact they were intertwined. "Trying to get something off… With your lips?" Lena didn't want to prod into Jude's personal life but if he had a boyfriend she thought she would deserve to know as his mom.

Jude knew he had been caught. "Okay fine, he asked me for a kiss goodnight. Please don't be mad. I'll stop bringing him over and I won't talk to him at school anymore, Just don't send me away please?" Every time another foster parent had caught Jude acting feminine they were kicked out. Jude forgot to add in the factor that they were technically their children now.

Stef was shocked that Jude thought that they would kick him out of the house for kissing a boy on the cheek. "Okay little buddy, sit down."

Jude did as he was told.

Stef and Lena sat across from their child holding hands. Stef was the first to speak. "We would never ever kick you out of this house for being gay or bisexual. We love you no matter who you love and I am shocked that you would even consider your two moms not being accepting of you. I just wish you would come to us if you are gay or bisexual and tell us so that we can know and support you. You don't even have to tell anyone else in the family. You can certainly keep having Connor over and keep talking to him. I think it's cute." Stef chuckled at the thought of the two 13 year olds kissing and holding hands. She couldn't handle the cuteness.

It was Lena's turn to speak now. "Both of us grew up afraid of telling our families about our sexuality and I know for me it was such a huge burden to carry around with me. I hated having to hide every single girlfriend I had from my parents. We just want to create a family where you don't have to hide anything from us. I promise you it feels a whole lot better once you are out. And I think it would be great if you and Connor started going out. You two are probably the cutest little match I have ever seen."

Jude felt much better now that he knew he would be safe in this family. He knew that this was his golden opportunity and he seized it. "Okay. I-I think that I am um…I'm g-gay. And I want to be with C-Connor if that's Okay?" Jude really hoped that his family would allow Connor to come over with Jude. He realized that Lena was right, he felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and like he was safe and happy.

Stef whispered to herself "finally"

Lena lightly hit Stef on the leg. "That's wonderful darling. And of course you can be with Connor! You know what you need right now? A mommy sandwich!"

With this both moms huddled on either side of Jude and everything felt perfect.

**NOTE: Guys thanks for all of the reviews make sure to keep em coming and send some suggestions for what you want to see in the future!**

**xoxo Katie**


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay hotshot, who else knows?" Stef wondered if they were the first ones.

"Connor, Marianna, and Jesus" Jude listed them off slowly, trying to remember who he had told. Connor was an easy one because well…that's obvious. But he remembered telling Marianna at one of their gossip nights. And he told Jesus right after they were adopted.

Lena gasped. "You mean Callie doesn't know?" Lena thought Callie would be the first one Jude told. They had such a good relationship and it seemed so improbable that his sister did not know that Jude was gay.

Jude nodded his head no. He was scared to tell Callie due to the remarks she had made in the past about gay people. She always called gay guys 'faggots, and pansies' and Jude could not stand it when she was talking about someone else, now she would be talking about him. Jude realized that her viewpoint shifted once Lena and Stef adopted them but he had a feeling she still wouldn't be thrilled.

"Let's go tell your sister this wonderful news!" Stef exclaimed. She couldn't imagine Jude living without Callie knowing this.

Jude's whole body filled with nervousness and fear but he knew he had to tell his sister at some point. He slowly nodded and said shakily "Can I tell her alone? It'd be better that way."

Lena looked at Stef puzzled "O-Okay…I think Marianna is in there but you could probably ask her to leave if you wanted." Lena didn't understand why Jude wanted to be alone but she respected his descision and watched him climb the stairs.

"Poor thing, look at him he is shaking." Stef put an arm around Lena's waist. She remembered when she came out to Mike and her parents. Her hands were shaking so hard that her family thought she had come to tell them she was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease.

*Knock Knock* "Callie can I talk to you for a second?" Jude said as he pushed open the door. This was it, it was now or never. Well actually it was now or later, seeing as his moms would probably confront her.

Callie put down her phone "Sure, do you want to go somewhere, or have Mari leave?" Callie looked at Marianna who was studying for a huge history exam the next day, then she looked at her brother who's legs were shaking like he had to pee.

Jude furiously shook his head no and said "Not Marianna can stay, she already knows." He walked oer and sat at the foot of her bed.

Marianna knew what was coming and she only hoped it went well. Jude was such a good kid and she was proud that he finally got the balls to come out to his sister. It surprised her that he came out to herself and Jesus before he came out to his sister who he shares such a great bond with.

"I just told moms and they seemed to already know so I'm guessing you might too. I am really nervous so I am just going to say it…I'm uh…I'm gay." Jude immediately looked at the floor trying not to look at the disappointment and pain in his sister's eyes.

It took Callie a moment to process what her brother just said and slowly she croaked "Jude, you're only 12 it is probably just a phase or something. You are going to get hurt if you run around saying that." It was in Callie's best intentions to keep her little brother safe and she knew the horrible names he would get called if he went around professing that he's gay.

"Wha…Wh…Since when were **YOU **allowed to tell me who I love and who I don't?! I will **NOT** allow my voice to be silenced by others and especially you Callie. It really amazes me that a girl who wants to date her own brother would tell me who I can and cannot love. If you can run around with Brandon I sure as hell can go out with boys." Jude felt the tears streaming down his face by now and he sped out of the room and down the hallway.

**NOTE: How'd you guys like this chapter? I hope you follow favorite and keep reading! Leave me reviews on how I did and suggestions on what you want to see next. This chapter was inspired by a suggestion I got, you know who you are and thanks so much! I think it turned out pretty well!**


	5. Chapter 5

Jude ran down the hallway with tears flooding his pale cheeks. Why did she have to be like this? What was so wrong about Jude loving boys instead of girls? He came to the door of his room but remembered that Jesus was in there and Jesus couldn't see him cry. Jude turned around and darted into the bathroom, locked the door and slid down to the white tiles to pour his heart out in salty tears.

Jesus heard footsteps running down the hall towards his room and took his beats off. Just as the steady thuds reached the doorway he could have sworn he heard soft crying and the footsteps took off in the other directions. He followed the noise of the sobs to the upstairs bathroom and knocked on the door "Is everything alright in there?"

Jude tensed up at the sound of his brother's voice. This would be too embarrassing if Jesus saw him. He swallowed the tears building in his throat and tried to sound as normal as possible "Um… Yea I just have a cold." Jude sniffed a few times to make this believable. "I'll be out in a second." He stood up and splashed his red puffy face with cold water to hide the face full of sorrow.

"Bullshit" Jesus thought to himself. Jude was definitely crying his little heart out in there and Jesus knew he had to see what's up. When the small child exited the bathroom Jesus saw the sadness that was still on his face "How about we go to our room."

Jude nodded and followed Jesus back into the boy's room. When they entered and sat on their opposite beds Jude spoke up. "Really, I'm fine. I think I just caught a cold or something from Conner."

Jesus thought this wouldn't be too unbelievable seeing all the secret making out Conner and Jude were probably doing, but he knew something else was wrong. "Care to tell me what really happened?"

Jude sunk back into the bed. "I told Callie and uh… things didn't go very well."

"What did you te—Oh" Jesus realized there was only one thing Jude could be talking about and that was coming out. "She really wasn't cool about it?"

Jude sighed "She said I am too young to be gay and she said that no one would like me anymore." He felt tears start to well up in his throat but he shoved them down, Jesus could not see him cry.

Jesus was shocked that Callie said this. She had never said anything negative about moms except for that first day. He tried his best to comfort Jude "She didn't really mean that bud, she probably just needs some time to adjust. It can be hard for people at first. Just think you have had your whole life to accept that you are gay and Callie has only had a few minutes." Jesus thought this sounded pretty good.

Jude sat up "You mean it will take her 12 years to love me?" He didn't know if he could wait that long.

"No. First of all, she already loves you. A lot. And second it will probably only take her like a week to realize how wrong she is. She's a smart girl." Jesus wished he could have a relationship as good as Jude and Callie's with Marianna.

Jude smiled "I could probably do a week."

"You know I am always here for you to talk to. Dude to dude you know? Don't ever let anyone, especially your own sister, tell you that you are wrong okay? You are perfect Jude. Stay gold." He was starting to develop a real brotherly bond with this 12 year old.

Jude walked over to his brother and engulfed him into a hug. No one had ever told him this before. These small words from Jesus made everything in the world feel right for once. "Thank you Jesus. I love you."

Jesus smiled. He had never had a real connection with Brandon, he felt as if he was never wanted. Now it was his job to make sure Jude felt wanted in this family. "I love you too Jude."

**NOTE: Awwww **** what a cute little fluffy I wrote for you guys. I really wanted to explore the relationships between Jesus and Jude and Marianna and Jude so I started with the brothers. Tell me how you like it in the reviews! The reviews I have been getting so far are awesome and I love you all! Don't forget to leave some more and suggestions too! I love you guys so much!**

**Xoxo Katie**


	6. Chapter 6

"I just don't want him to get hurt!" Callie was almost shouting at Stef and Lena while the rest of the family listened with ears pressed to their doors.

Lena understood how protective Callie was of her little brother. "We understand that Callie but you really hurt Jude's feelings. Anchor Beach is a safe space for Jude and so is home!"

"It wasn't a safe space when those jerks almost beat him up for wearing nail polish!" Callie exclaimed.

"Yes but we have talked to them and it will not happen again; they are aware that the next time this happens they will get kicked out." Lena tried to keep her voice under control while she was arguing with the teenager.

Stef cleared her throat "Callie, would it kill you to just be happy for Jude? He's your little brother!"

"Yea and I'll be the first one there for him when he comes home with a black eye."

Lena sighed "Fine, whatever, but we still want you to go and apologize to him. Poor thing, you broke his heart."

Callie stomped up the stairs and into Jude's room. "Hey buddy. I just came in here to apologize for what I said. I support you and all, but I just don't want to see you get hurt. I love you."

Jude sat up and looked at his sister "Do you really mean it?"

Callie gave her brother a quick hug "Of course I do, now get some sleep. You have a long day ahead of you at school." She sure hoped he didn't though.

**NOTE: hey guys I just gave you a really short transition chapter. It was about Callie somewhat coming to terms with it but still being on the edge. The next chapter will be about Jude at school and it may have some Jonnor! I don't know, you're just going to have to keep reading**

**Xoxo Katie**


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